June 2009
323 posts
“An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.”
“Important documents will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you...”
“Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing...”
“A woman has the last say in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the...”
The 99 Most Essential Pieces of Classical Music:... →
“The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I...”
“Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know.”
– Morticia Addams
“I see you’re still waiting on that spine donor.”
– Fraiser Crane (Kelsey Grammer) - FRAISER
“Procrastinate now!”
– Dan Meyer
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
“People question why Switzerland always remains neutral in wars. I think...”
– Paul Paternoster
“‘Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, ‘if it was so, it might...”
– Lewis Carroll
“‘Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,’ the Mock Turtle...”
– Lewis Carroll
“I lost my virginity, can I have yours?”
“Dogs lick you because they love you. Cats lick you because you had chicken for...”
“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep...”
– Sacha Guitry
“It is our destiny to be born beautiful into an ugly age.”
– Henry Rollins
“Denial doesn’t exist.”
– Sandra Koski
“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do…”
– Walter Bagehot
“Buy one for the price of two and get another one free!”
“I hate everything which is not in myself.”
– Norman Mailer - Naked and the Dead
“Beware of those that fall at your feet, they may be reaching for the corner of...”
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married-then he’s finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
“You can observe a lot by just watching.”
– Yogi Berra
“You can observe a lot just by watching.”
– Yogi Berra
“Only do. Or do not. There is no try.”
– Yoda
“I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...”
– Woody Allen - Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor (Adler and Feinman), Ch. 2
“And my parents finally realize that I’m kidnapped and they snap into...”
– Woody Allen - Woody Allen and His Comedy (E. Lax)
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to...”
– Woody Allen - Woody Allen and His Comedy (E. Lax)
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there...”
– Woody Allen - Without Feathers, ‘Death (A Play)’
“The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much...”
– Woody Allen - Without Feathers, ‘The Scrolls’
“My brain? It’s my second favourite organ.”
– Woody Allen - Sleeper
“I’m really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers.”
– Woody Allen - Sleeper
“It was the most fun I ever had without laughing.”
– Woody Allen - Referring to sex. Annie Hall
“The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.”
– Woody Allen - Radio Days
“I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married, or did...”
– Woody Allen - Play It Again Sam
“I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.”
– Woody Allen - Manhattan
“I’m a world-renowned claustrophobic.”
– Woody Allen - Manhattan Murder Mystery
Classic Rock nod for Spinal Tap →
They’re not a spoof band… they don’t play spoof!
“Countess: My bedroom at midnight? Boris: Perfect - will you be there too?”
– Woody Allen - Love and Death
“I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.”
– Woody Allen - Guardian (London, 23 March 1992).
“I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I...”
– Woody Allen - Everyone Says I Love You
“I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the...”
– Woody Allen - Bananas
“That was the most fun I’ve ever had without laughing.”
– Woody Allen - Annie Hall
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
– Woody Allen
“I cheated in the final of my metaphysics examination: I looked into the soul of...”
– Woody Allen